Everytime
by Lady Vol
Summary: Carter is leaving for good. Abby doesn't know what she thinks about it. Will he stay or go? (One-Shot CARBY)


Just a little fluuf (it is pronounced FLOOF), yeah its lame and yeah its BS (Britney Spears) but hey, w/e. You don't really have to read it or return it but it makes me happy. And believe me its bad to make me angry.

Carter had done it. Two weeks from now he would be gone, to where, he wasn't quite sure. He needed to get away that's all he knew. Still he felt a sadness leaving this place, this place had brought him so much love, happiness, sadness and loss. He couldn't imagine what would happen to him, now that he's leaving, but he had to. To get his live back in place he had to leave. As Carter walked solemnly out of the ER, he ran into Abby.

Hey Carter. She said shortly.

Hey Abby. So what's up? Are you done?Nothing too much. I'm done, are you? Want to go do something?Yeah, could we talk? I've got something important to say.Sure, where to? She said simply.

I dunno. My house, your house, food, whatever.Okay, food sounds good. Er no wait, smoothies, Jamba Juice.

The two started to walk towards the Jamba Juice that was a few blocks away.

What's wrong, Carter? Abby said sitting down with her Jamba.

Nothing. It's just I'mleavingtheER. He said very quickly so that she couldn't understand him.

Excuse me? Abby said not catching what he said.

I'm leaving the ER. He said slowly and softly.

But Carter, why? Why are you leaving?Abby, I need to do this, Kem is gone, I have nothing but a lot of money, and the promise of more. I need to find her and I need to help people that actually need help. He explained.

Carter you can't. You can't, Carter. Abby said with tears starting to flow down her cheeks.

Why not? So you all can pity me some more? So I can stay here and only help people who think an emergency is when they've had some minor wrist pain and think that it is broken. People in Africa are DYING, because there isn't enough treatment. Look at the difference? Carter said getting a little upset.

You know what Carter figure it out yourself. She said as she got up and left.

_Notice me, take my hand  
Why are we strangers when  
Our love is strong  
Why carry on without me  
_  
Abby ran and ran all the way to the EL, she didn't turn back to see if he was following her once. She couldn't believe he was leaving, and just so suddenly. Didn't he realize what happened. What she wanted, no, what she NEEDED. No of course not, ever since her, Abby didn't even want to think about her, he hadn't given her, Abby's, feelings even a first thought. When he came back she tried to shut him out, but it never worked.

_Everytime I try to fly, I fall  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
I guess I need you, baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, it's haunting me  
I guess I need you, baby  
_  
The EL was close to deserted at such a late hour, she took a seat in the back corner and sat with her knees hugged to her chest. Her tears were flowing in full force now, she didn't know what to do. She loved him, she thought he loved her, but she was mistaken. And that hurt. It hurt to know that he'd never felt the way she had or maybe he had, but not anymore, it was his fascinating Kem from Africa. She left him for God sakes, why did he still like her? Abby had been there for him always, and he was always there for her. What if something happened to her family? It's not like anyone else could or would just take off with her to give her the support she didn't always want, but he knew that it was what she needed.

She entered her apartment and flopped onto her bed and cried herself to sleep. She didn't want to see him ever again. Never. She'd call in sick. That was it. No, Carter would know it was him, she couldn't deal with that, he'd come by and check on her. It was her dream job, she would go to work, but the mission would be to avoid Carter at all costs. Abby fell asleep dreaming about everything that had ever happened between the two of them. She let him go, she lost him to her. It was her fault that he was leaving, it was her fault.

_I make believe that you are here  
It's the only way I see clear  
What have I done  
You seem to move on easy  
_  
She remembered the time Carter's Gamma died, and there Eric had been to ruin everything she'd made for herself on her own, without anyone's help. She hated herself for that incident and had never been able to forgive herself or her brother for having to deal with this.

_I may have made it rain  
Please forgive me  
My weakness caused you pain  
And this song's my sorry  
_  
It was funny she thought, she'd grown up and tried her hardest not to depend on anyone for anything and yet she'd managed to get herself into this mess, so that she couldn't do anything, but wish that she'd picked a different hospital, didn't work in the ER, so that she would have never met him. Yes, if she had never met him, she'd be better off, or would she? She didn't know, but she wouldn't be longing for Carter to have stayed. Wishing that he'd never left her.

_At night I pray  
That soon your face will fade away  
_  
The next morning at work, everyone was saddened by the news that Carter would be leaving in two weeks. Nobody noticed, but Susan, the actual effect this news had on Abby.

Abby, what's up? She asked.

He's leaving and he'll never know. He never did really know. I guess it's just that phrase, you know, the grass is always greener on the other side.' I didn't realize how much I needed him until now. And he's leaving in two weeks, Susan, he can't. You know how much he means to me. Does any of this match with what he thinks? Abby asked.

I don't know. You could tell him. Susan suggested.

And make him think that I'm just ruining everything, he'd think that, oh great, she's just NOW telling me that she loves me. What does she expect me to do about it?' Abby reasoned.

You never know. Just give it a try.Carter, can we talk? Or better yet, can I just talk and you listen? Abby asked seeing him in the lounge.

He gestured for her to sit down.

Not here, outside. She said.

He led the way noting he odd behavior.

Okay what is it?No talking, remember? Anyways, you asked me last night, why you shouldn't leave the ER or leave County and I didn't respond, but I should have. There are so many things I could have said last night to answer that question, but really I needed to think it over last night. The truth is though, Carter, I can't live without you, I've missed you, I know it's dumb of me to say this now, after you've turned in your resignation and everything, but the truth is it's better late than never, right? I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I love you. I always have and I always will. I think it's great that you fell in love with helping people who can't afford medical care, but I can't let you leave me again. Last time you left, you broke my heart, and I never thought it should be broken, really truly, again. My life has always sucked. Honestly, I've had two high points in my life, becoming a doctor and you, I can't let you leave. Please, Carter, I couldn't live without you, not again. I'm begging you from the bottom of my heart, don't leave. Stay here, open a clinic for underprivileged people here in Chicago, stay with me. Carter, I love you, more than anything. Abby said.

_And everytime I try to fly, I fall  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
I guess I need you, baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
I guess I need you, baby  
_  
There was a silence between the two, in which Abby sobbed. Carter was dumbfounded, he didn't know what to say. Yeah, he had always loved her and yeah he needed her more than anything, but she was telling him at the worst time possible. His son had just died, his son's mother had just left, he was a wreck, he needed help, he needed to get out of this mess, he needed support, he needed guidance.  
_  
_ I guess I need you, baby.


End file.
